I Dont Want to Lose Ever Again
The older I get the less I listen to what people say and the more I expect at what they practise.
—Andrew Carnegie
Why exercise we sometimes say we want to achieve a goal and and then don't act on it? I have worked with more patients than I tin count who have looked me in the eye and said how much they want to lose weight, but then seem to put in very piffling effort. Truth is nosotros all do this on i thing or another.
Are we liars? Are we lazy?
Neither is the case. Life is more complicated than that. It'due south piece of cake to desire, it'southward much harder to exercise. Here are 10 reasons why nosotros want but don't practise:
1. I Don't Know How to Practise This—When yous practice not motion forward on a goal, information technology may be due to a lack of skills. You might have tried a few things, none of them worked, and then find yourself confused and discouraged. Experience similar you don't know where to begin with weight loss? Check out this post. I too recommend that yous observe an experienced counselor. You might be surprised to know that many clinical psychologists (like yours truly!) have this expertise and can dig a little deeper into the issues with you. Find a clinical psychologist with training in behavior therapy for weight loss—information technology may be covered under your mental health insurance too.
2. Something/someone is punishing your effort—This is the scenario where you feel similar every time y'all try, you become hit over the head. This can come in many forms. I remember one person I worked with talked most how every time she tried to lose weight her female parent would brand infuriating comments: "Are you lot going to eat that? I thought you were trying to lose weight!" Or "I can't even tell you lot lost 10 pounds, isn't that strange?" Kindly ask the person to stop once, just afterwards that, I recommend distancing yourself from the offending person—non entirely, only to the extent that you tin can tolerate them without losing your enthusiasm. Observe a comfy distance and stick to information technology.
three. Fearfulness Part one—Fear is the number i matter that holds us dorsum from our wants. If you are stuck, try to imagine what would happen if you achieved your goal exactly equally planned. Does information technology terrify you? In one fearfulness scenario, we are afraid of bad things that might happen if we achieve the goal. I accept had patients who worried a lot about the discomfort they would experience by the attention they might attract if they were leaner. Others take said that beingness thinner might take away their longstanding excuse to non accept sexual activity, which would bring a deeper human relationship problem to lite, one he or she is not gear up to confront. Progress tin can come with new problems, or unearth former ones. Every bit a first step, try to empathize what negative issue might be holding you back, what is at the root of that problem? Successful weight loss may swivel on your progress with that problem.
4. Fear Office 2—Another fear is fear of the procedure. One patient told me, "I'm agape I'll feel deprived all the fourth dimension" and another said, "I'thousand afraid I won't accept time to do the other things I love because I'll be then busy exercising and planning meals." If these sound like y'all, attempt talking to someone who has been through it (possibly a Real-Life Biggest Loser). Inquire them, did yous feel deprived? Did you still have time for your hobbies? People who accept been through information technology probably take lots of ideas on how to navigate these challenges and will prove you that the procedure may not be as bad as y'all recollect.
5. Fright Function 3 —The third fright is the fear of failure. Victorious weight losses are sometimes followed past devastating regains. This feels really bad, sometimes worse than y'all felt before yous lost the weight in the starting time identify. Taking the plunge ways taking the chance that a failure volition happen again. However, not going for it guarantees you won't achieve anything. Before starting, think very hard about what went wrong last time so you don't relive the wheel all once more. I have a mail service about how to exercise a postal service-mortem on a regain that you lot may find helpful.
6. Unrealistic Expectations. Sometimes our idea (or hope) of what it takes to attain a weight goal is a bit unrealistic. If your efforts are repeatedly resulting in fiddling to no progress, you may need to increase the intensity of your effort. Even though you may feel similar you are doing a lot, it yet might not be enough to be really moving the scale. (For more on making sure your efforts result in outcomes, run across this post about getting started losing weight.)
seven. Resentment. Have you ever wanted something then desperately that you found yourself feeling negative about or even angry at someone who has it? We've all been at that place at 1 bespeak in life or some other and while we know information technology's unreasonable, you can't help but feel it'south not off-white that it's easy for some people, but not then piece of cake for you. This can lead to an "usa" versus "them" mentality and consequently, self-defeating behavior. If you have constitute yourself thinking that you don't want to exercise or make a healthier diet option because it feels like "giving in" to the skinny ideal, y'all might be stuck in this type of thinking. Remind yourself that making healthy choices is not near living up to a skinny ideal, but simply to be the healthiest person you tin can exist.
8. Genetic Destiny. Your efforts may exist lacking because of an underlying belief that your genetic destiny is in more than command than you are. Just because several or all of your family members are overweight does not necessarily mean it is genetic. Families share more than than genes in common—households, neighborhoods, and learned habits. Even if your weight is genetically driven, information technology is a misconception that it isn't malleable by your efforts (check out this post on genetic destiny). Yous are in more than control than you recall.
Hierarchy of Needs
Source: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain
9. Hierarchy of Needs Imbalance. Sometimes people who genuinely would like to lose weight have bigger fish to fry in more basic areas of life. If you lot are worried about whether y'all tin pay your mortgage, put food on the tabular array, or go along your marriage together, losing weight is probably non a top priority. Unfortunately, some people live in a constant state of stress well-nigh bones needs that they never get the chance to focus energy on self-improvement. If this is you lot, table your weight loss goal. Put all your focus on taking care of those basic needs because doing so will costless you lot up to really focus on this. If you can't resolve your basic needs bug, get assist or time may run out. Getting your life on solid ground is the best thing you tin can do for your physical and mental health.
10. I say I want to lose weight because other people think I should, but secretly, I don't. Peradventure you don't really want to do this now, or ever. If you are overweight you might feel like yous should want to lose weight, only if you aren't ready, yous aren't set. Be sure that when you try, you do it for you lot and not because people in your life or social club says you should. You will never exist successful at a thing if your motivation is to satisfy someone else's expectations. Your attempts will always come off one-half-hearted. It'due south OK to say, "Not now." Wait until your heart says, "I'm ready." You'll know when you lot are ready, and when you are: Blast off.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shrink/201208/why-do-you-say-you-want-lose-weight-then-don-t-do-it
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